bullshit

i lost a good 3 lbs. went to weight myself and they were back. pissed me off. too pissed to write about it.

A new Month begins.. week 5

SO..... if I keep at my current speed i will meet my goal before summer or around my b-day. Not a bad gift if I do say so myself. I wont get ahead of myself though. I was surprised when i got on the scale today. For the last week the scale has not been a friend. It has been anything but that. I was up a good 5 lbs in the middle of the week. I just said F*UCK IT, and ate whatever for the rest of the week. I really get pissed about this stuff easy. Got on the scale and it was all gone +1. Not to shabby.
I (not him) finally went out and got the DVDs to record the p90x. only took a whole month. He recorded them all, only one set and we will do them as needed. It will be more a p180 for me. I don't have time to do it once a day. I am still going to the gym in the am and trying to do a double play on Fridays. I refuse to go on Saturdays, and I'm thinking about skipping Mondays too. Really thinking of skipping it since i have the disk. Its pointless if I'm not going to work after. waste of gas and it will piss me off. however if i need to go up north then i will make it my business to go.
hm mm... OH!!! yeah finally found this machine that he was using and talking about. Not sure if i brought this up or not. But its a sweet ass machine. I now know why he is such a gross mess after using it. I'm up to 20 Min's of use( i was dying on 10 the first time last week) and on a good incline. I am trying to make up to his level and just work the hell out of myself. I am doing a pretty good job.
I like being a sweaty mess cuz i know I'm working. I need to get a weight plan going. Weight plan as in using the weight machines. I need to also get some yoga going to tighten up this loose skin that will form. I hate being a fat bastard but this is really helping. I will be somewhat cute this summer. I have to be to keep my sanity.

Starting weight a happy 270(10 down-50 to go)

is this week 4???

I don't even know what week it is. I just know that Feb 11Th or somewhere around there will make it a month. At the moment i don't feel so bad about things. I have quickly come to accept that jiggles. I don't like them, not at all, and know that they need to leave.
So that makes me happy. I know there is PLENTY that i need to work on and i don't mind working on those thing.
I kinda like going to the gym. I go at 6am. i have to be at work at 8am. I only work out for a hour and I'm going to try to add more time on the weekend. STILL have not put that p90x on disk but we are working on it. Still eating my meals and still taking the ALLI. (that Alli will make u pay for your unhealthy eating decisions). so all in all we are good. No longer pissed or having a pity party for myself. No one wanted to come to it anyways.

Starting weight 271lbs. 9lbs total for the month. It was 10 on Sunday but i ate too much ... that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

start of week 3---blah!

OK we are starting week 3 and I was sure I would be further along in this. I gained 2 lbs that i managed to loose. This small set back keeps me at the starting weight of last week which is bull shit. its my own fault thought. I was so lazy it made no sense. I didn't eat everything in sight but i didn't move my butt either.
I do plan on getting my gym membership tomorrow. 5$ to start and 10$ a month. they have nothing fancy. no good classes, no pool, no one staring at you(bonus). you can get a private trainer and I will check out the prices on this, to see if its better then the other guy. I will hit the gym on my days off for a hour and up to three on the weekends. i want to dedicate myself to this not kill myself and not become a self centered jerk with it. I just want to be healthy and look good in my clothes and out of them(that will take a moment.)
So my goal for the month is 5lbs a month and i am still at 6lbs lost for the month. I will try to do better. I owe it to myself.

Starting weigh 1/25/10 274lbs.(piss poor)

Some number count and I am failing!!!!

Yeah! I have been a total slacker this week. Although I did go for some nice walks, I stopped drinking water. Well, I am drinking it but not like I was. I need to just go and buy one of those hugh water pitchers and take it to work with me. I lost the motivation to walk to the water machine in the cafeteria 3+x a shift to get water. I did not start drinking pop or other things but i slacked on the water intake. I am sure that my glorified 6lbs is no longer.
I cant get too upset because my goal for the month is 5lbs. The bigger picture is the 60lbs for the year and my trip to where ever I want to go as a reward to myself.
I found myself a personal trainer. Hes hella expensive even at the discount that he is giving me. i will only see him once to twice a month. I am going to break down and get a gym membership. a super cheap one that will be near my new house so that I can run to it after i get off work. it will be on my way home so i have to pass it and feel guilty. the plan will be starting FEB. to go Tue, Thur, and Fri for one hour. might get in two-three on the weekends depending on motivation and how much i like my results. my "other" is not very supportive, not like he said he will be. Hes a bit selfish and its making me feel bad, however its not about him its about me, and my big picture. 60lbs and my trip to Ireland or UK or Alaska or Boston.
I also am going to put away a small reward for not being lazy. 1$. 1 buck for each time i walk 30+ Min's. 1$ for each time i go to the gym. 1$ for every 5lbs lost.
Once again we will see how this plays out.

Day 8 New week, new adds

OK... so the week wasn't so bad. I kept a detailed log of what I ate for the week and tried to keep the calorie count within 1200-1400. After looking over a couple programs I saw that I might be short. That that low in calories would only make me tired, and put my body into starve mode. I added a little more food and felt 10x better. Now I am trying to stay within 1400-1600C. I try to keep myself on a time schedule also. Where I eat at the same times each day, even the snacks, so I wont over/forget to eat.
Those lovely frozen meals are still great! They still make it super easy to keep track of calorie intake, fat, sodium, and portion size, plus they are only a 1$. Alli is helping but it doesn't show as much since i am not consuming so much fat. It gets pretty bad when I do, but i haven't since i first started taking it. That was not a good day, and i really didn't want to leave home. it was for the better.
I did start a minor workout on the treadmill at work. By no means anything hard, but it was a good 15mins. This Sunday I started somewhat of a real workout. I have a hour walk planned each weekend day. This wouldn't work on the weekdays due to work so, I'm going to fit in 10 min workouts 3x. Whenever the other person in the house gets in the mood we will start the p90X. It is not something I am not looking forward to but something needed.

OK.................. weight starting Jan 18Th******** 274******
6lbs weight lost. That beats my 5lbs for the month but no need to get lazy. 54lbs till my trip to where ever.

Day 3(4 if you count sunday)

SO... the journey is slow. I said it would be but it really is. I haven't been able to find time to exercise as of yet this week. I know they say if you really want it then you'll find the time. This is not possible.
That's not true its totally possible. I am just making excuses.I would just sacrifice more sleep mid week(30 Min's a day) and do the bulk of the exercise Fri-Mon(1-2 hours). I need to work out a schedule that allows me to do what I have set forth and stick to it. I will figure it all out.
The 1200C diet isn't too bad. I've done it before but, it is working out a whole lot simpler when I am not cooking the meals. Those lovely little meals that go into the microwave are easy for counting calories, fat,and main protein options, as well as variety. This makes it easy to not get bored and seek out foods I don't need or really want. Another super lazy move that is working out well for me is the 100C packs of whatever. Combine these with some yogurt and fruit and its a party. Easiest thing ever, at least to my mind.
Purchased the ALLI and I was thinking that it was a totally worthless purchase. There were none of the "dangerous" side effects and horrors that I read about or saw on YouTube. For the first 1.5days that is. The one lovely morning(likes its been forever) its was a good thing i was close to a bathroom. It was so bad I was laughing loudly at myself, because it came right after telling a coworker how "not bad" it is. The effects only lasted a hour or so and then i was right at rain. They say the side effects are worse for the fatter foods you eat, so I will look more closely at that, but other then that it was fine.
I like the product, so far, and look forward to see how it turns out. Again,it has only be a couple of days, so its too early to jump and down over anything. I really wish I could get some Adipex. Though dangerous, it is very helpful. Only a month is needed, maybe 1.5months, but again that is being lazy. LAZY IS NOT GOOD!!!
I have also stuck to this weeks slogan "DRINK WATER". I got a warning today that in a couple of weeks the slogan will be "get more sleep", and we already know how that's going to turn out. Somehow, somewhere in the mist of my 53 weekly hours that are open(not really), I need to fit in more sleep. That 53 open hours from mon-sat morning include the hours that I try to find sleep now. We will see how it works. Anyway! I have drank nothing but water since Sunday. I am trying to throw down 64oz every 8hr shift. It makes for a lovely day of running to the restroom like I have a UTI minus the pain, funny smell and really dark urine. So maybe its not really like a UTI, but just peeing like I have the bladder of a 3year old who was just potty trained. Its not a " hey I might have to go to the restroom, let me think about it." It more of a "hey you gotta piss now, find a cup, toilet, or tree and fix the problem." Again it makes for a interesting time. The flushing of the system is a good thing. Dry out the fat cells ,wash them away, and get me prepared for a lovely hardcore week 2. Ive drank so much water in the last 3-4 days that I don't even need to add the normal crystal light or something with a awful aftertaste in order to chug down the water. All good things. I am also sticking to my "write down what you eat" idea. Its tedious and annoying and maybe stupid to some but it lets me see whats been going down.
I will stick to my goal of 5lbs a month totally 60lbs by the end of the year and my reward trip to wherever, depending on how cute I am after. SO.. I must be diligent and focused and not cheer over the fact that I weighed myself today and there seems to be some weight lost. I said "seems" because the scale we have is not up to par, and i think it shifts when its moved, although the other party in the house says that isn't true.(boo!) I will reweigh myself on Monday.

Day 1. So, it begins!

So, today is the day for change. I am going to put forward my plan that I worked out to help me. This will not be a easy journey. This is not be a short ride either. HOPEFULLY! I know that things need to change and I need to stop being lazy. I think my plan will work, but only time will tell.
The initial plan is to lose 5lbs a month. Something doable and logical. A decent amount that will add up and by the end of the year I will be 60lbs lighter. If I happen to lose more each month, then that will be a plus for my dedication, but not my goal. I will weigh myself weekly and keep track of my workout and daily calorie intake. Each week I will have a slogan to implement a new habit (a steal from Biggest looser.)
My daily intake of calories will be 1200-1600, leaning towards the 12. I will try to stick to the 3 meals, 3 snack, and plenty of water. My workouts will be from 1-3 hours a day. All home workout with videos because I wont pay for a gym membership that I can't find time to use. I will write out my weekly meals until I get use to the calorie intake system I have in place. I will also add Alli to my diet, because any little bit helps, and it is all about baby steps.
I will give myself a cheat day every 2 weeks to give me something extra to look forward to. I am also going to reward myself with a nice mini vacation when I reach my 60lbs. This will mean new clothes, fun spots, lots of pictures and a happy me. I will be in no way thin after these 60lbs but I will be smaller.

And now to the fun stuff....

MY STARTING WEIGHT monday 1/11/10 280lbs